Saturday, March 31, 2012

Speeding ?

Woman : is there a problem, officer?
Officer : ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman : oh, i see.
Officer : can i see your license please?
Woman : i'd give it to you but i dont have one.
Officer : dont have one?
Woman : lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer : i see...can i see your vehichle registration papers please.
Woman : i cant do that.
Officer : why not?
Woman : i stole this car.
Officer : stole it?
Woman : yes, and i killed and hacked up the owner
Officer : you what?
Woman : his body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

the officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2 : ma'am, could you step out of your vehichle, please!

the woman steps out of her vehichle.

Woman : is there a problem sir?
Officer 2 : one of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman : murdered the owner?
Officer 2 : yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please

the woman opens the trunk revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2 : is this your car, ma'am?
Woman : yes, here are the registration papers.

the first officer is stunned.

Officer 2 : one of my officers claims that you do not have driving license.

the woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2 : thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didnt have a license, that you stole this car and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman : betcha the lying bastard told you i was speeding too.


my first scramble eggs with sausages and cheese...umm yummy :D